3 months.

Yesterday was 3 months since Rob died.

Oddly, it felt...weird. I have a pretty bad cold at the moment, and perhaps that's what made me feel somewhat numb and distracted.

The really painful part of the past few days was discovering that one of Rob's family members wrote a thinly-veiled accusation on his guest book, implying that I somehow was responsible for Rob's death; the family member in question is "suspicious".

This was apparently because on a different blog site (which I haven't been able to access since December), I'd written "Rob died in my arms....".

And later, when I'd spoken with family members, I'd said "He was cuddling into me, and I woke up feeling dampness on my arm".

I'm not sure how these two things are contradictory, but that's how it was perceived..though I was told by Rob's mom that what I said had been remembered as "My BACK was damp..." as opposed to my arm, meaning that I was lying about him being in my arms at all. Actually, when I typed that bit, it just seemed ridiculous. Even if it were true, it's such a trivial difference that it would be funny if it weren't so hurtful.

I was initially very, very angry - all I'm guilty of is loving and caring for this wonderful man who was taken from us far, far too soon. Did I perhaps give different "theories" as to how he died? Probably! None of us will ever know for sure what actually led up to the event itself. My own memories of that night and early morning are hazy.

There was no autopsy performed; his cause of death was listed as "Complications from congestive heart failure" (or words to that effect). Frankly, I would have liked the autopsy to have taken place because I had so many question, and the death was so very sudden. But as I wasn't legally next of kin, that wasn't my decision to make. And of course, I have nothing but respect and support for the person who did have to make such a dreadful decision after losing Rob like that.

Needless to say, I do understand that the person in question is hurting, very badly. And I understand that there's probably a lot of guilt from not visiting Rob during or after his surgeries; but that doesn't make it OK to point a finger in my direction based on such a bizarre assumption.

All I know is, I miss my Wombat.

Sigh.