No, it's not as if he scattered all over the carpet, but he's in two ziploc baggies!
(The only thing I've ever seen those baggies used for is for containing a certain aromatic - if illegal - herb. Ahem.)
****************************************
Yesterday was quite odd really. Because it was Rob's birthday, I had many more little ups and downs than perhaps the previous few days. I've discovered though that I seem to have two types of grief. The first, the acute grief, is what you'd imagine. Physically agonising, mentally overwhelming, almost unbearable. It leaves you wondering how on earth anyone gets through this process and you often feel like you just just cannot and will not ever survive. You learn the literal meaning of the word "heartache".
The second though is more subtle. It's the one that lets you remember both the good and bad parts of your relationship, and the good and bad sides of the person you've lost, and you can even do this sometimes without being (overly....) judgemental. It's the grief that lets you cry and actually feel a little better afterwards, and the grief that allows you to imagine a future - albeit a radically different future - than you'd imagined or planned.
In those times of the more subtle form of grief, I'm even relatively sane. Even if I did get stood up by my grief counsellor this morning! (Ok, she was sick , she has an excuse. Hrmph)
****************************************
I actually found myself agreeing with Elisabeth Hasselback on The View this morning. I can't remember what I was agreeing with, but I remember thinking "Oh shoot me now...I'm agreeing with Elisabeth....."
Maybe I need to pick up those psych meds ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment