Spaghetti Ramblings

(Posting between making spaghetti. If I get tomato sauce on the keyboard, forgive me)

You know, there's just no pleasing me as far as the weather goes.

Here's the official Tess Guide To Fargo Weather. Please take this with as big a pinch of salt as I just chucked into the pan of water.

There are, in general, two seasons of weather in North Dakota. F'cking hot, and F'cking cold.

November, December, January, February, March: ice, more snow, more snow than that even, lots of slipping on one's bum on the occasional day where it gets above zero and the snow melts into..ice! Granted, I almost managed to get through the entire season without doing that more than three times, which is quite the accomplishment. And it can get as cold as -35. That's Thirty Five Below Zero. Sometimes without the wind-chill. That's gotta be illegal, surely?!

April: One really nice week of weather! Lovely. Around 58 degrees. Easy, breezy lovely weather. The other three weeks blow.

May: Sometimes snow, sometimes in the 80s. It's our "schizophrenic" month, and May just can't seem to decide whether it wants to be in the FH or FC category. Also it can, and will, snow in May here....sometimes within days of a scorching 80-degree day of hellfire. I think that is on purpose, though I have no proof.

June, July, Aug, Sept: temps between 75-100, humidity higher than..well, the proverbial high thingy. Mosquitoes, flat hair, flooding, tornadoes, thunder storms, lightning strikes, the occasional blessed night of "less than 80 degrees oh thank you lawdy".

October: Again, one nice week of weather. A lovely 63 or so degrees. The other three weeks do, of course, suck. Think of October as May's slightly crankier younger brother. Same mental affliction applies, apparently.

Then you're back to winter!

You know, Wombat, for the longest time I haven't been able to fully comprehend how you can have nipplewithering cold (don't you think that sounds like it should be a small village iin England? No? Must be just me) weather and balldroppingly hot weather (which is obviously one village over from the previous) in the same state. It's not right. Pick one already! You shouldn't be able to get frostbite and heat deaths in the same state.

Grumble grumble grumble.

Ok, I'm done whining.

Spaghetti, anyone?

Edit: I think there might've been a critter in the package of spaghetti. I'm going to go with the "if I can't see it, I can't taste it" school of denial, thank you very much.